I seem to have got hooked into a mailing list from the ex-lap dancing wife’s mother in America.

It looks like half of America is connected to AOL and they’ve all got my address in there.

Still, it’s better than the unsolicited e-mail I get about incest, rape, animal pornography and how to make unspecified parts of my body either bigger or smaller.

My computer-geek friend has fed something into the computer to filter these messages out, but for the life of me I can’t remember what he did and he’s obviously not got them all.

Why on earth, or even on Ibiza, would someone, somewhere, think I want to see pictures of pigs doing what comes naturally?  Well, to pigs, anyway.

Meanwhile, I thought you would enjoy, as I just have, reading the latest missive from this bunch of Americans who would, dare I suggest, all benefit from a relaxing week in San Antonio.  Actually. I think they would all benefit from a drink.

It’s not bad, if you can get through the list of recipients who don’t seem to realise that you can take all that gunk out.  Perhaps they are proud of having so many online acquaintances. It goes like this:

From: Barbara Heffinger bheffinger@comcast.net

Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 17:41:03 -0400

To: Shirley Wick wickshirley@hotmail.com

Cc: Robin Simpson drsimpsontn@earthlink.net ;

kelli simpson queenspitfire@hotmail.com ;

Gail Lee Mitchell glmitchell@comcast.net ;

Evelyn Wallis evieketcham@cs.com ;

BETTY JARMAN bjgrannyhouse@webtv.net ; GarciaBasketcase@aol.com ;

Carol Mumau Ceedie49795@hotmail.com

Subject: FW: This made my day......

----- Original Message -----

From: Robin Simpson mailto:drsimpsontn@earthlink.net

To: Mom mailto:bheffinger@comcast.net ;

Jill mailto: jjddwilson@prodigy.net ;

Kelli mailto:queenspitfire@hotmail.com ;

Phyllis mailto: pcarden@rocketsonline.org ;

Kim mailto: kcobb@rocketsonline.org ;

Jenny mailto: jmiller@rocketsonline.org ;

Beckie mailto: beckie@netease.net’;

Sherry mailto: garciabasketcase@aol.com 

Sent: Thursday, July 11, 2002 4:54 PM

Subject: FW: This made my day......

----- Original Message -----

From: Metzger, Charlotte -Systems mailto:charlotte.metzger@itt.com

To: Catherine Spurgeon (E-Mail) mailto:cat_a_lys@yahoo.com ;

David J. Wiles (E-Mail) mailto: djwiles235@yahoo.com ;

Jacie Elliott (E-Mail) mailto:jacie_e_15@hotmail.com ;

Laura Pitts (E-Mail) mailto:lauraedarlin@yahoo.com ;

Mom (E-Mail) mailto:shastab@fmtc.com ;

Richard & Ingrid Metzger (E-Mail) mailto:rimetzger@hotmail.com ;

Rose Wolfe (E-Mail) mailto: rwolf@argontech.net ;

Stan & Evelyn Agenbroad (E-Mail) mailto: stanev@bigskytel.com ;

Teri Weaver (E-Mail) mailto: teriw@nwconsulting.com

Valsie Hopson (E-Mail) mailto: hopson272@mchsi.com ;

Stewart, Sarah -Systems mailto: Sarah.Stewart@itt.com ;

Hukle, Connie -Systems mailto: Connie.Hukle@itt.com 

Sent: Monday, July 08, 2002 12:22 PM

Subject: FW: This made my day......

ARE YOU REASON,

A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME?

Pay attention to what you read.  After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered.  And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.  They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.  Believe it!  It is real!  But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life. Stop here and just SMILE if you don't want to do this last part:

This is to show people you love them and to see how many people love you!!!!! Don't feel embarrassed, because only you will get the results.  Send it to every friend that you have on-line, including the person who sent it to you.

0 Replies = you need to work on your "people skills"

2 Replies = you're nice, but need to be more outgoing

4 Replies = you have picked your friends well

6 Replies = you are downright popular

8 or More = you are totally awesome!!!!

(Probably why you're on MY list!)

Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

And dance like no one is watching.

____________________________________________________

  IncrediMail - E-Mail has finally evolved - Click Here

************************************

If this email is not intended for you, or you are not responsible for the delivery of this message to the addressee, please note that this message may contain ITT Privileged/Proprietary Information. In such a case, you may not copy or deliver this message to anyone. You should destroy this message and kindly notify the sender by reply email. Information contained in this message that does not relate to the business of ITT is neither endorsed by nor attributable to ITT.